When I was trying to quit smoking
and we drank white wine from Mason jars,
you called my freckles cocoa powder
and I called your green eyes
I am learning how to be a grown-up
who pays bills, cooks her own meals,
and doesn’t cry at words like
I think I just want to be friends.
The truth is this:
Love is an organic thing.
It rots and softens.
Let me be the first to say
that I know the name for everything
and if I don’t I’ll make them up:
dukkha, naufragio, talinhaga.
Just like the young
whose hearts give no shame,
I love the excesses of beauty,
there is never enough sunlight
in the world I will live in,
Our trip to Dodiongan Falls, Iligan City!
For so long I have been holding on to this notion that people who constantly talk about their problems about love are people who need to get over themselves.
For so long I have been endorsing the idea that these problems, these “feels”, are so stupidly petty compared to, say, the vicious cycle of injustice in the Philippines.
And while I still fervently believe that problems plaguing or country need to be addressed first before we dare delve into our personal issues, I admit that I’ve been terribly mistaken in thinking that romantic heartbreak is an easy thing to overcome.
Because for so long I had put up walls and decided that pushing away the first thoughts of anything remotely related to love would do me good, and I had pushed too hard that I have forgotten how it was to feel. I was the selfish one.
Putangina, ang hirap palang magmahal at mawalan. O magmahal at magpakatanga. O magmahal at magpanggap na hindi mo siya mahal. Ang daming klaseng sakit na pwedeng maranasan. Nakakabaliw na sakit.
Tonight, I went beyond sympathy to empathy. For the first time in so long, I rediscovered the ways of hurting.
"Hindi titino ang Pilipinas hangga’t nandirito ang mga Amerikano."
Lol humu-humans of pero yeaa may point si manong driver.
Karga ng hangin ang katotohanan tungkol sa bansa natin.
Sinisigaw niya ang mga sikretong lantad sa direksyon ng paglipad ng bandila - na ang Pilipinas ay atrasado, nakayuko, napapagitnaan ng mga rehas at taling hawak ng imperyalismo, pyudalismo, at burukrata-kapitalismo.
Pero buhat rin ng hangin ang mas mahalagang katotohanan tungkol sa bansa natin.
Binubulong niya ang kakahayahan nating mga Pilipinong tumiwalag sa hanay ng bulok na sistema. Hinihimok niya: pumiglas ka, Pilipinas, pumiglas ka sa mga rehas at taling sumusupil sa ‘yo, tumindig ka nang matuwid (tunay na matuwid) at lumaya ka mula sa tanikalang sumasakal sa leeg mo at sabihing, “Lalaban ako. May pag-asa pa.”
'Pagkat may pag-asa pa talaga.